I was looking for some stock music for a project when I stumbled upon StockMusic.Net, which bills itself as having "stock music with an edge." While the tracks are great--I'll definitely be able to find some decent options--the copy describing them is hilarious. Below are some of my favorite entries.

- For a track called, "Party Like It's 2999," one of the most outstanding descriptions:

"Soul-groovin'-get-down-with-yo-funky-self tune. A party tune that makes your body start to twitch. Funk guitar, driving, tight bass and groove with retro synth stylings. Oh yeah, hurt me baby."

- This one may have an enigmatic title, but "House Lz5" has clear inspiration:

"Shakin' your thang at a nightclub while you are away on vacation where nobody you know is watching."

- "Esta La Noche," has this simple (but effective) description:

"There's a fiesta going on all night and you are invited."

- Here's a good one, a track entitled, "Fashion Show." Reading the description, I am suddenly reminded of Bruno.

"Stern faced models strutting their stuff as they stomp down the runway. Fast enough to get their groove on, yet not so fast that they look like speed walkers."

- I think the description for the track, "Mushroom Belly," is the best of all:

"Trippy little song with a futuristic flavor to it. Maybe mushrooms will dance for us in the years to come-this is the song they would dance to."

There you go, folks. If you're looking for the song to play when mushrooms start dancing "for us" in the "years to come," you have your track ready.